Ok, so it’s been a thousand months since we’ve talked. My entire world has been turned upside down, sideways and inside out! All in good ways! We had our baby girl in August! Healthy, gorgeous and HAPPY all the time! The first thing I noticed when they laid her on my chest was her eye lids. She has my puffy eyelids. I did that! Wow. That is the coolest thing ever!! Oh, and my nose.
I cannot believe that she’s half me and half my husband. And I don’t think it really hits you until you see & hold your baby for the first time. That moment was the best of my life. I’m so passionately in love with her. She has been the PERFECT addition to our little family. She is a symbol of God’s love, goodness and faithfulness. We named her Raelyn because it means “God’s lamb of beauty.” Her middle name is Grace, “God’s unmerited favor”. We knew that’s exactly who she was. My mighty little princess warrior.
It’s incredible to know that because of God’s timing and His working everything out for our good, we have our daughter. Losing our first baby last year was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me. But even in the midst of the pain, I felt my God’s presence. I knew He was faithful and was ever so close to my heart. My second pregnancy was a constant opportunity to trust Jesus and meditate on His goodness…not my fears. And our beautiful daughter is one more example of how loving and good my God remains. If we hadn’t lost our first baby, I would not have Raelyn. It’s hard to explain how that makes me feel. It does not ease the heartache and depth of loss I still feel. I am not glad that it happened. However, God used that pain to teach me more about His heart than any “happy” season of my life. And He has created something beautiful through the timing and through His plan…the sweet life I now hold in my arms every day. (She’s pretty incredible, I gotta tell ya.)
So be encouraged, as I have been. He is good. Being able to see more clearly that He gives beauty for ashes and joy for mourning has made me fall in love with Him even more.
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” Psalm 107:1
Our little peanut now sleeps through the night and has started allowing me to put her in her swing throughout the day so I can get things done. Like I said, she’s pretty incredible. So, I am looking forward to talking with you more. You are special to me & I have prayed for you during my absence…and sleep deprivation.
Blessings, sweet friend.